First Blog

Blog World,

Years ago I said I didn't understand why people wrote blogs. I remember people using Xanga and other blogs and I thought it was kinda silly. During that time(college) I felt I was on top of the world, I had it all(so I thought): My faith was great(still is), had a great church, I had a lot of friends around and I had a girlfriend and was just happy.

Now, I still have my faith and I feel that's about all I have right now. I can't seem to find a home church and that is so important to me. If I could have a home church that I could rely on during this time of sadness and lonliness but I dont, so it's just me and God. I don't have any male friends that are nearby and it's so hard because I desire the closness of a brother and I have to travel far distance in order to be around them. It's hard, so hard cause I'm lonely, I'm sad and the only thing around here is females and I dont want to hang out with females and give them the wrong idea. I know how a lot of girls think and they feel if we are hanging out that I'm interested in them and I know that some of my friends would like to be more so I have to keep my friendships on that level. It would be great to have that girl that would ride or die for me too. I'm ready to settle down, not play anymore games or have games played on me. But it's a scary thing because I have been in some relationships and the girls I have not treated well, treated me like a king and would have done anything for me and loved me more than I deserved. The women that I have treated like queens and have loved like other men have not, have always hurt me and burned me. What do I do? Do I continue to show love to women when I meet them or stop being a gentleman? That's hard, I dont have a lot of answers.

Right now work has taken up a lot of my life as I'm on day 9 of 12 and it's going well, but I'm tired...

Interesting, this is my first blog, lets see if I can keep up with it.

Cheers